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By Micheal Anderson

PORTLAND, ME (AP) We Americans are no strangers to hype. From the Phantom Menace to the XFL to Playstation 2, we are barraged with taglines and flashy advertisements heralding the next big thing. It's no wonder, considering the above examples along with many others, that we have become jaded and suspicious, wary of empty promises and lack of delivery. "Don't believe the hype," Public Enemy warned, and until now that was good advice. Until now.

On a small piece of land in suburban Portland, Maine, an event of epic proportions has been, for months, constructed and planned behind closed doors by a small group of dedicated individuals. Now, via a press conference yesterday in Portland, Lawn Olympics '01, along with its motto, "Lives Will Change" was revealed to the general public, creating a ripple effect of buzz and excitement throughout the world.

"Lawn Olympics 2001 ushers in a new era of lawn events and lawn related activity," said Brett Wolfgram, official spokesperson for the Lawn Olympics Committee (LOC), "we're going for something really big here, something larger than anyone can really fathom." Mr. Wolfgram issued a short statement to crowd of around 50 journalists, well wishers, groupies and others attracted by the 'Free Beer' sign posted at end of the driveway.

Lawn Olympics was born two years ago as a follow up to the wedding day of Mr. Wolfgram and his wife Pamela, also a member of the LOC. Tired of hearing how the wedding was "her day," Brett queried when he was allowed "his day" and the idea of Lawn Olympics was hatched. Starting out as a day of outdoor activity and lively competition, LO returned last year leaner and meaner, with an emphasis on crowd favorites (wiffleball homerun derby, horseshoes, cribbage) and a shift from Fall to the more favorable mid summer timeframe.

This year, however, the LOC claims to offer an entirely new experience, one that draws from the strengths of the first two installments while bravely forging some new paths. Eileen Anderson, a representative of the New York based public relations firm slated to handle East Coast marketing said, "When we first heard their tagline, 'Lives Will Change', we almost laughed them out of the boardroom. Then we heard what they had to say. These guys are no joke."

Anderson states that her firm is being charged with a massive media push to promote the event, with everything from fast food tie ins, billboards and radio and television spot ads on the way. The Chad Bernheisel action figure, depicting the heartthrob member of the LOC, arrives later this month complete with six interchangeable outfits and a working miniature iron. Anderson hinted at possible movie deals and videogame licenses, but nothing was confirmed. "Our budget has gone from $300 dollars in year one to over $500 million," says Wolfgram, "it's quite staggering really."

In addition to the mainstream marketing, Lawn Olympics 2001 has been buoyed by an amazing underground word of mouth campaign that has attracted the attention of the younger, hipper audience. Suzy DaSilva, attendee of the original Lawn Olympics and resident of California, states "It's everywhere out here……coffeehouses, nightclubs, you name it. I got charged by a bunch of kids last night, asking if I was 'down with the LO'. It was scary."

It's just this type of free press, coupled with their gargantuan marketing plan, that the members of the LOC are hoping will push them over the edge and allow them to succeed where others, most notably the Lawn Pan Am Games and the Lawn Goodwill Games, have failed. "I don't want to get carried away here," says LOC member Kevin Charest, "but this will be the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of mankind, period."

Mike Anderson, a regular contributor of LOOP, is a member of the LOC but claims that no positive slant or bias was used in the writing of this article. We believe him.